Mixed Signals

So, what do you do when your boyfriend of 4 years, the man who's supposed to be shopping for an engagement ring for you, who says he loves you is sending you completely mixed signals?

He says all the right things, but then when the time comes, isn't doing anything to back up those beautiful words. Words that make my heart race, and give me butterflies. Or worse yet, his actions are the opposite of what he's saying.

What's the deal when someone who says he loves you won't even kiss you? Disappears for hours and hours and won't answer your phone calls or return your BBMs? He keeps telling me he wants me to feel special, that I'm still special to him, and the words, I know the words are sincere. I see it in his eyes when he says it, I hear it in his tone, but the actions aren't there. Its like, its like having a beautiful vase, sitting, empty, always. Where's the substance that's supposed to go behind words in this relationship?

Do you have any idea what you're doing to me? You said yourself, 'I can sense that this is tearing you up inside'. Those were your words, unprompted, unaided. How can you know what you're doing to me with your coldness, with ignoring me, with refusing to talk to me and STILL DO IT!?!?

You're pushing me to a place where I don't want to go. A place that I don't know I can come back from. I feel horrible, emotionally, physically, all over, all the time.

If you love me, love me.